I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Screwed.edu
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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