and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
