i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
