well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize