he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
