it was like eating out sand paper
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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