A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize