Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
