This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
third nipple confirmed
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
