Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
