His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
