it wasn't lemon gatorade
Who did Billy Mays play for?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
