I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
