the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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