two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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