I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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