Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
In America we eat man semen.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
