You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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