Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
