All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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