we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
