dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize