I swear she didn't look like that last week.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Someone shattered a urinal.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
