It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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