it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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