I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize