If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
