why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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