So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just invented taco cereal.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
