Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
