I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
