It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
