They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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