He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
