Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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