you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
