Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
