i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
