I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
