Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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