this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
