when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
