i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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