Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
We got so high we made milksteak
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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