Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
