Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
