Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize