pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
