We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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