he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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