I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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