You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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