you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
