He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
