if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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