R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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