Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
