Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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