If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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