Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
