Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
