the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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