She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
